Just wish I knew
admin March 28th, 2007
So I have peed on three sticks now, all of which tell me that I am not pregnant. The thing is though, I am four days past my cycle time last month, and no sign of a period. So, that’s odd. Every time the stick shows a single pink line, I feel a kind of let down, and then relief. I think I would just like to know FOR SURE. The other thing that I’m worried about is that I managed to convince myself I wasn’t, and then went ahead and had a beer one night, a couple of margaritas two other nights, and now I’m wondering if that was a big mistake. Please forgive my stream of consciousness run-on sentences. Sigh… No wonder I seem completely unable to do anything constructive these days. Well, maybe that and my allergies. But the plants, they are gorgeous!
I’m also thinking quite a bit about what I want to do when I grow up. I have always wanted to be a professor. Always. It seemed like such a nice life: teaching and research, school holidays, distinguished colleagues, bright young pupils, freedom to be an individual, job security, travel, and time and flexibility for a family. This is why I am in grad school, this is why I am working on my PhD. But, I keep reading about how difficult it is, how women must fight to maintain work-life balance, how the money isn’t bad, but it’s not great either, how there is no guarantee of tenure, how I will most likely after all this work STILL need to go post doc, uprooting myself for low pay, how so many women have fled for law, business, or medicine, and I start to think maybe I should flee too. It doesn’t help that all the very distinguished professors around me seem to have sacrificed almost every other aspect of their lives, and many still don’t live that well. You still have to work like a dog in business or law, but at least you get compensated for it. You might never get tenure, but then you don’t have to worry about not getting it, and best of all, you don’t have to ask the government for your money. People actually pay you. If I want to have a kid soon, I will either have to usurp my husband from his job and somehow survive for a while on just my pay with the added cost of a child, or I will have to live apart from my husband and constantly worry that my child either won’t know me or my husband. I just don’t know if I am willing to do that. Plus, once the stint is over, we will most likely have to move AGAIN. Now, I love to move from place to place and to travel, but that unknown, that horrible possibility in which we don’t have enough money for ourselves, much less a family, terrifies me. And I shouldn’t have to worry like this. I am smart, creative, and spunky. I work hard. At the end, I will have a PhD in the sciences, and I will have to worry about FEEDING MY FAMILY? I am all about deferred gratification. But how long must one defer? I have worked my ass of for years, and I am getting the feeling it is high time to get some reward.
On the other hand, if I leave, I can never go back. And that scares me crazy too.
Where is the career fairy when you need her?