Archive for January, 2009

My Kid is a Retard

admin January 30th, 2009

Well, not really. Or at least I don’t think so. But sometimes …

Let me explain. Way back before a sperm fertilized an egg in my uterus , I heard about how competitive moms can be, how they are always comparing every tiny milestone, how annoying it is, and how mostly these things have no correlation to later performance. How petty, no? So, I thought to myself, well, I won’t be like that. I won’t go around comparing my kid to anyone else’s. Those moms are nuts. I am totally better than that. And I am, I mean, was.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I had meant that I wouldn’t go around making other parents feel bad when their kid wasn’t as smart and talented as mine. I mean, I have some pretty good genetic material floating around in here. It’s not the other kids’ fault that their parents didn’t set them up as well. Not everyone can be above average.

What I didn’t consider, not for a second, was that I might be the one whose kid seemed a little slow. He’s six and a half months, and I think, probably doing just fine. But it is hard to go to playgroup and see the 7 month old who has been crawling for 3 months, and the 7.5 month old pulling up when we’re still working on unassisted sitting. Even the kid who refused to grab at things for like 5 months now seems to be on track to surpass my son. Also, he babbles, but I’ve yet to hear anything that sounds remotely like “mamma.” How did this happen?

I have interject here that playgroup may be a skewed sample set. Yes, I have a PhD, but let’s see, two moms’ husbands are currently working on their doctorate, one is a lawyer, one works for a prestigious management consulting firm, etc. etc. So, if it were just playgroup, well then I could console myself with the fact that we’re hanging out with little geniuses. But it’s not just playgroup. Even the dumb relative’s kids are outpacing him. That’s right. Dweedle and Deedle’s son is totally crawling, and cousin Cletis is mamamama-ing up a storm. Urrghhg!

Aside from the fact that I have been completely blindsided not only by my son’s slower development, but also how much it is affecting me, others feel the need to speculate on how these events might be connected to my mothering decisions. Maybe I should have given him formula. Maybe I should have had him start foods sooner. Maybe if we hadn’t swaddled him so long.. Maybe if we let him watch some TV…maybe maybe maybe.

So I am trying just to make sure that he is in the normal RANGE and am waiting until his perfect SAT scores, or his winning orchestral compositions, or his Pulitzer-prize winning novel produce that luxuriously fulfilling feeling of vindication. Until then, well honey, I’ll still love you, even if you are retarded.

The Health of Our Civilization

admin January 11th, 2009

The below paragraph is an excerpt from a paper I wrote several years ago (therefore the older statistics), but after digging it up and re-reading it, I find it still quite relevant. Around election time, opponents of the Obama administration frequently spoke to me of their fear that his policies would set an uncomfortable precedent towards socialism. In every great civilization, one of the key indicators of internal weakness cited by historians is a large gulf between the wealthy and the poor. Though I don’t have the most recent statistics, I do not think that these numbers have changed much since the study dates.

“In the meritocracy of the US, we value not necessarily social equality, but social mobility. Although not everyone can be president, anyone can, or so the thinking goes. In actuality, both social equality and social mobility are declining in the US. The past several presidents have been the progeny of elite families and Ivy League schools. Economist Magazine cites the Economic Policy Institute’s figures that while between the years 1979 and 2000, the income of households in the lowest fifth of earners increased by 6.4%, that of households in the top fifth grew by70%, with those in the top 1% growing by an astounding 184%. A later study found that from 1979-1998 70% of bottom tier sons moved up the ladder more often than their fathers had. As reasons for these statistics, many point to our stratified and struggling education system. Public school funds are often tied to property taxes, hitting those in lower income areas the most, and government funds once aimed at these students are now getting converted into loans. Even affirmative action dollars are now decreasingly reasonable proxies for social disadvantage.”

Just poking my head out

admin January 8th, 2009

To say to all of you who read this, and all of you who will read this.

IT DOES GET BETTER!

Dude. This Mom gig is so much fun. I “almost” think that I could do this full time. Just wish the pay was better.